I've felt for some time now that I should write a "follow-up" article about my participation in the NFC fast. Lately I've been soaking up summer (literally, laying on a floatie in our backyard pool) and not wanting to do much else. But, I want to remember what I've learned, so before I forget, I guess I'll put something down on this underused blog of mine.

The fast for me was a fast from comfort.  I ran every morning (almost), refrained from coffee and alcohol (completely), and didn't eat after 7pm (every day except for 2 or 3 times).  All in all it was a VERY successful fast. I was filled with more energy than I have been in a long time, I learned that I wouldn't "starve" if I didn't have a 10pm snack, and I actually came to enjoy my morning run.  The fast taught me that my bits of "comforts" or "crutches" actually were daily detriments to my health and well being.  When I followed through with what God wanted me to do, I was amazed at the life flowing through my veins (not caffeine). 

So often I refused to exercise for lack of energy, motivation or time.  Those were my excuses.  I ate or drank out of habit under the guise of "me time."  Handing those things over to God and letting Him be in control of my habits didn't completely take away the cravings, nor did it free up my time to devote to Him.  But I was able to focus on the plain and simple fact that those things I wanted to eat and drink are totally, utterly unnecessary.  

Obeying God is totally, completely necessary for a full, energized, righteous life.  When I let God be in control of my "comfort level" during the fast, He never let me down.  At times I was tempted or a bit sad that I couldn't join in - but that feeling was temporary. Knowing that I was obeying the "rules" that God had placed on my heart has eternal value. 

Another component to the NFC fast was supposed to be the ability to "Stop, Look, and Listen."  This slowing down was all but impossible for me to do in the midst of gearing up and going to Girls Camp.  But the last few weeks...trust me, I've sllllloooowed way down. I now have the time to relax and unwind.  I'm loving every minute of a very open schedule with time to read, play, and rest. In this "Fast after the Fast" I've been enjoying a few non-essential beverages, sleeping in instead of early morning runs, and occasional late night snacks.  But they have lost their grip.  They have lost their power as "necessary" comforts.  And I find myself more grateful to the One who holds me in the palm of His hand and gives me life.  A life I will live for Him.

I've been home from Girls Camp for over 3 weeks now, and despite the slow down in my schedule, summer has been in "full swing" and it's been full of social events and family time.  So, instead of coming home and being filled with inspiring stories from camp-I've been busy living life outside the blogging world. So I'll settle for a list of things that comes to mind when I think back to camp-oh so long ago. :)

1. We had the most amazing group of counselors this year. Every single one of them we'd ask back in a heartbeat and we loved how focused they were on the campers.  Truly the biggest blessing of camp was the maturity level that these ladies possessed and it made a huge impact on how smoothly the week went for everyone.  I can't thank them enough for the gift of service and love that these women bestowed upon Girls Camp.

2. Our staff rocked.  The programming that these women put together was top notch.  Outdoor class with Carrie and Colleen was so great-the kids did everything from looking at lake water under a microscope to limboing at a Beach Party. Lana and Delaney-what great helpers you were too!  Crafts were fantastic (wooden birdFEEDERS and a storymat) and blessings to Christy and Mindy for putting up with endless hammering and gluing-headache anyone! Recreation really brought the crowd to their feet, literally. The dance to "Freeedom Freeedom" made every girl smile and dance and scream-It was the highlight of my camp experience this year.  Each one of these teams (Outdoor, Craft and Recreation) brought the message of Freedom in Christ to life and it was a joy to work with them throughout the year in planning and then so much fun to sit back and see the fruits of their labor-A LOT of Labor (one lost GPS) and endless amounts of love -Thank You!

3. Being Lecia's co-Director, this is a true gift.  I am so honored to be her friend. I am in awe of her talents, patience, prayer, honesty, and faithfulness.

4. At Girls Camp I am surrounded by an web of people who support me and teach me and inspire me. My deepest thanks to: Deann, Sandra, Miriam, Jeanne, Bev, Joseph, Stephanie, Ken, Tamara, Lisa, and, Dennis (oh, I'm sooo sorry for bugging you about my "dead" computer!).

5. Sarah brought to life the Word and gave the girls a special word, "Ezer" to hold onto. Thank you Sarah for being a powerful, life-giving, affirming, loving helper to EVERYONE at Girls Camp. Christ has set us free to live a free life-and I'm so grateful He brought you into the lives of each living soul at camp.

6. Krissi your pictures were beautiful-thank you for sharing your God-given gift with us at camp.  The slide shows were great with the mix of stills and video, you truly captured camp on "film."  

7. Every night when all was quiet, I walked up to my little mini retreat- called Osprey and just delighted in the beauty of my room and of Twin Rocks.  Warm showers at midnight...heaven.

8. Seeing Brynn love Amber so much - Amber, thank you for making Brynn's last year at camp-as a girls camper-so meaningful and fun.  To see my daughter have such a wonderful role model is the best gift you can give a mother.  

9. On the last night of camp, one of the campers was homesick for her mom. To make this story as simple as possible, after talking with her she and I raced back across the athletic field so she could rejoin her cabin group in the tents-she was smiling and laughing. This kind of interaction with girls is probably the most rewarding thing about camp. To be able to speak truth and love into a girl's heart and see her respond by going from tears to giggles-this is the reason I know God wants me at camp.  This is the reason why I spend endless hours in preparation for camp-because in the end, it all comes down to sitting on the back of my van with a camper and reassuring her of HIS love.  Thank you Jesus.  Let Freedom Reign.

With two days until Girls Camp begins, I feel like I should be having some deep thoughts to post on the blog. However, I'm just excited to actually get there and watch what God reveals. I'm guessing I'll come home with lots to say.

Many thanks to all of you who have supported Girls Camp by participating in and/or praying for it this year. Let Freedom Reign.

I have to say, I'm doing really well on my Fasting from Comfort.  I've been running EVERY morning, not a drop of coffee or alcoholic beverage has touched my lips.  And until last night at 7:11pm, when I without even thinking popped a strawberry into my mouth as we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, not a nibblet of food has passed these lips after the clock strikes seven.

But here's where it gets bad.  Tonight we were invited over to a High School Graduation party for a young man that I used to be a nanny for (I started watching him when he was only 18 months old).  The BBQ started at 6:30pm, and I knew that there was a good chance that food wouldn't be served until after my "pumpkin time."  So I snagged a half a tuna sandwich as we got in the car. I didn't want to s  t  a  r  v  e.  We arrived, and as I suspected, dinner wasn't yet being served.  

Later when they announced "we could eat" I had a choice to make-survive on the tuna smackeral I scarfed down an hour earlier or delight in a BBQ cheeseburger, grapes, and Jello salad.  I choose the latter- I thought God was feeling pretty understanding. I've been sooooo good.  It's just one dinner.  I won't have cake, I'm not imbibing in the Mike's Hard Lemonade.  Just one hot off the grill cheeseburger.

My first bite-bam, I splatter a huge dollop of ketchup and mustard onto my favorite capris.  I think I must have caught the wrong "vibe" from God.   

Just a note to say that I am in a bit of shock that tomorrow at noon marks the final moment of elementary school for my oldest daughter. My big girl is getting bigger by the second.  It's a happy feeling, and yet almost unreal that in less than 24 hours she's officially a Middle Schooler. Brynn has had a very successful school career so far-and I expect much of the same in the coming 7 years.  Yep-in 7 years she'll be graduated and off to college.  I'll be 42 years young.  tick tick tick.

Starting tomorrow our church is entering into a corporate 6 week fast.  We are laying down our regular "duties" and ministries at church in order to Stop, Look, and Listen to God.  You might think that seems strange-to quit doing things "of God" in order to listen and obey Him.  And for many in our church body-it has been difficult. The idea of fast conjures up not eating, denying oneself and sacrifice.  These types of fasting can be good tools for spiritual discipline. But why as a corporate body are we volunarily giving up good things like Sunday School?  I think the simplest answer is this: for rest and renewal.  God wants us to fast from the routine, the hectic pace, the constant striving to "do" instead of just to "be."  

God is faithful and steadfast, but He also is a God of Change. This corporate fast is about change. The fast gives us the opportunity to stop our normal responsibilities in order to see and hear how God wants to change us as the body of Christ, a pause to refocus on the heart of God.   This Change is for many a fast from comfort.  We like our normal.  It's what we know.  

The other element to this fast is our personal response.  For me the change of laying things down within the coporate body is exciting and I'm not upset or "shaken-up" by how things will change in church for 6 weeks.  I'll miss teaching those adorable 1st graders-but a break will be nice.  I'm looking forward to a sanctuary full of kids-full of life.  And so I feel a need for the fast to "hit home" a bit more intensely if I am truly going to spend time "Stop, Look, and Listening" to what God wants from me.  

For these 6 weeks I'll be fasting from coffee, alcohol and the oh so difficult-no eating after 7pm. Denying myself these bits of "comfort" I pray will lead me to depend on God, to change in a healthy way and give me opportunities to see how much I don't need anything but God's love to fulfill me. God's also been working on me in another area-exercise.  This is something that I cringe about even writing here.  How I desperately want to ignore this area of my life.

Last week in church Pastor Gregg asked us to look at a park bench at the front of the sanctuary. It was there as a visual representation of the fast.  He wanted us to mentally put ourselves on the bench.  He then knelt down in front of the bench, elbows on the seat and prayed.  He said he hoped this would be another picture of what we'd be doing during the fast. I sat their teary eyed by this humbling sight, but my mind was also busy envisioning another picture of what the bench could mean to me during the fast.  I saw myself stretching my calves on the legs of the bench, warming up before a run.  A run that would happen every day for 6 weeks.  If I'm honest with myself and with God, I know that this is the kind of fasting He has in mind for me.  A true fast from comfort. A total dependance on His strength when I have none. Asking the Holy Spirit to guide me and provide me with energy. A denial of all excuses that each and every day I validate in order to keep away the pain and hard work of getting into shape.  

Will you pray with me that I will be faithful to listen to His guidance?  And will you let me know how I can pray for you?  It will give me something to focus on as I run.

A few moments in time have captured my heart recently-

Last Sunday we were attending a fundraiser for Young Lives at Chapters.  Lia and her sister Moriah were with us that evening.  The original plan was for the kids to play at church in childcare while the adults mingled at Chapters.  But Lia was complaining of a tummy ache so Alan went back over to the church to retrieve her.  I saw him walking down the street with Lia on his shoulders - and then while the rest of the adults listened to the presentation, Alan found a cozy couch in the children's section and read book after book to Lia.  It seemed to magically make her tummy ache disappear. I've always known that Alan is an awesome dad to his own two daughters, but in those moments to see him with Lia-wow, I was once again reminded of what a precious man I married. One of the reasons I love Alan so deeply is his tender care for children...all children.

Outside Boy is back!  When Alan decides to do something he does it.  Lately our yard has been the beneficiary of some much needed sprucing up. Creating a garden, replanting trees, and bringing new flowers and shrubs into the yard has been keeping him busy these days. The other night he rolled a HUGE boulder to a new part of the yard-just where I wanted it. Seeing him put so much effort into every bit of what he does makes me realize how glad I am that he is Outside Boy and I'm Indoor Girl. 

Friday night Alan and I attended our first Square Dance together.  We both had the jitters -  it was nerve wracking being the 'newbies" on the dance floor.  We laughed our way through about 2 hours dance before my feet couldn't take another step. We've found something totally out of our normal everyday life to enjoy together.  Looking at each other across the Square makes me smile. I think it makes God smile too.

I am a person who finds tradition and routine comforting.  I don't often find myself wanting to be all that spontaneous.  Sometimes I think I'm adventuresome, but my life tells the story of a homebody.  And yet, I love change. Every so often (perhaps it's regulated by hormonal cycles that I've yet to figure out) I feel this great need for change.  I start looking at houses that are up for sale around town and day dream what it would be like to set up our family in a new space.  I wonder if we are supposed to adopt, I think about asking Alan to pursue a position with Nike in Belgium, I ask God to open doors for a short term mission.  Then I come home and rearrange the living room furniture.  And I'm pretty satisfied for the next bit.  

Today I was home doing laundry-with ironing waiting in the wings. Oh the joy of the everyday.  I compensated by going to Fred Meyer to look for a chalkboard eraser for the 1st Grade Sunday School room that I teach in. They didn't have it.  I went to Bi-Mart.  They didn't have it.  I filled the van up with $50 worth of gas, took Paige (the 5 year old I watch on Mondays) to the Dairy Queen Drive-Thru and went to church to CHANGE things in my Sunday School room.  Yea, the relief, the elation of removing staples, taking down tired old borders, rearranging bulletin boards and creating new ones. 

Now typing this blog I'm realizing how tired I am of those ducks at the top of the screen and the same old same old format of this website.  Sorry honey.  Time for a change. 

So I started a journal back in April to write down a few words each night of what I was grateful for that day.  Each day I find myself reflecting on the things I'm grateful for, one of which-that God still loves me despite my lack of discipline for writing them down in the cute little journal.

Here's a few other things that should be in the cute little journal-but haven't been written down "officially"...yet.

Prayer-Thank you God for listening and directing.

The way my girls love Amalija, and the amazing way she interacts with them.

My extremely comfy bed. Oh the joy of Tempur-Pedic. (is that how you spell it?) 

I'm not exactly sure where my brain was this morning. While Don Staples was giving us some reminders, I was consciously going through the congregation and telling myself people's names, just to see if I remembered. Then, everyone is standing and greeting and hubbub was louder and longer than normal. You see, we had a mission from Don to find people we didn't know and introduce ourselves. In the midst of this, I was also thinking about Mother's Day and to whom I could wish a Happy One to.

That's when Kevin Brooks stopped by the sound booth and greeted Michelle and me. And then those words just flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, "Happy Mother's Day, Kevin!"

Somethings you just can't take back. They're already out there.