christianity

If you went to Newberg Friends Church last Sunday (December 28th) you heard a fantastic message titled "Love All" given by Josh Reid. If you didn't - then you need to hear it via the internet or CD.

During open worship I was thinking about this:

Last Saturday our family piled into our minivan with LOTS of luggage and started the treacherous drive out to the Portland airport to board a plane bound for Seattle and then Bozeman, MT. It was our year to find a White Christmas, so we were headed to Yellowstone. However, the Portland area had already experience a good amount of snow and ice (and would get DUMPED on while we were gone). We chose to go the 205 north route and topped out our speed at 35mph.

I had just received a text message from Sarah wishing me a Merry Christmas when Alan said, "oh no, oh no!" I looked up to see the truck ahead of us, in the left hand lane, spin out of control, slip UP the median embankment, continue sliding and turning, and eventually disappear on the other side of 205-facing traffic head on. It was a moment that felt as if we were characters in slow-motion. I could feel my gut ache and hear myself tell Alan to be careful. I was afraid he might panic just a bit and we too would go spinning on the freeway.

Alan had me call 911. I did, and I have no idea what happened to those people driving in that truck. 911 operators don't usually give "updates." So I've been pondering for over a week now what happened after the truck slid out of view. Did they regain control and just go driving down 205 south as if nothing happened? Or perhaps there was a fatal accident, a multi-car crash? I don't think I'll ever know.

Many times, on this trip, and on countless others I've prayed with my children for God's protection and safety. And just as many times we've thanked Him for providing that safety and getting us to our destination in His protection and love.

But yesterday's message got me thinking about how God loves All. He loves me and my family just as much as He loves the family that went careening over the embankment. And our safety does not equate with how much God loves each one of us. Christianity is not a safety net or bubble here on earth. Whether it be a car crash or cancer, His protection is more than just being without accidents or ailments. The reality is that God truly loves all, no matter how safe we do or don't feel sometimes. I pray I'll be able to articulate this to my children and that each of you who reads this finds God's love to be a tangible undeniable force even when you feel you're sliding out of control. He loves you.

It was my turn to do a devotional for the Young Lives Leader meeting tonight and so I spoke about the prevailing words that keep coming to mind these days when I describe my state of being.

Peaceful: If Peace is like a river, than I have found myself feeling like that river water being channeled where ever God leads.  He's the banks of the river and my job is just to stay contained within those boundaries.  Peace is active and moving.  The river is sometimes quite still and at other times it is rushing rapids.  Where ever God directs-I'll go.

Excitement: Not nervousness or anxiety-but true excitement wondering what's next (perhaps around that next bend in the river). There is excitement as I look forward to my world changing, and how God will guide me to meet the challenges ahead. I feel energy rushing through me as I try to describe to others and represent well the changes God has made in my life and what He has done through me.

I'd love to hear what words you'd use to describe your own life at this point.  

I've felt for some time now that I should write a "follow-up" article about my participation in the NFC fast. Lately I've been soaking up summer (literally, laying on a floatie in our backyard pool) and not wanting to do much else. But, I want to remember what I've learned, so before I forget, I guess I'll put something down on this underused blog of mine.

The fast for me was a fast from comfort.  I ran every morning (almost), refrained from coffee and alcohol (completely), and didn't eat after 7pm (every day except for 2 or 3 times).  All in all it was a VERY successful fast. I was filled with more energy than I have been in a long time, I learned that I wouldn't "starve" if I didn't have a 10pm snack, and I actually came to enjoy my morning run.  The fast taught me that my bits of "comforts" or "crutches" actually were daily detriments to my health and well being.  When I followed through with what God wanted me to do, I was amazed at the life flowing through my veins (not caffeine). 

So often I refused to exercise for lack of energy, motivation or time.  Those were my excuses.  I ate or drank out of habit under the guise of "me time."  Handing those things over to God and letting Him be in control of my habits didn't completely take away the cravings, nor did it free up my time to devote to Him.  But I was able to focus on the plain and simple fact that those things I wanted to eat and drink are totally, utterly unnecessary.  

Obeying God is totally, completely necessary for a full, energized, righteous life.  When I let God be in control of my "comfort level" during the fast, He never let me down.  At times I was tempted or a bit sad that I couldn't join in - but that feeling was temporary. Knowing that I was obeying the "rules" that God had placed on my heart has eternal value. 

Another component to the NFC fast was supposed to be the ability to "Stop, Look, and Listen."  This slowing down was all but impossible for me to do in the midst of gearing up and going to Girls Camp.  But the last few weeks...trust me, I've sllllloooowed way down. I now have the time to relax and unwind.  I'm loving every minute of a very open schedule with time to read, play, and rest. In this "Fast after the Fast" I've been enjoying a few non-essential beverages, sleeping in instead of early morning runs, and occasional late night snacks.  But they have lost their grip.  They have lost their power as "necessary" comforts.  And I find myself more grateful to the One who holds me in the palm of His hand and gives me life.  A life I will live for Him.

I've been home from Girls Camp for over 3 weeks now, and despite the slow down in my schedule, summer has been in "full swing" and it's been full of social events and family time.  So, instead of coming home and being filled with inspiring stories from camp-I've been busy living life outside the blogging world. So I'll settle for a list of things that comes to mind when I think back to camp-oh so long ago. :)

1. We had the most amazing group of counselors this year. Every single one of them we'd ask back in a heartbeat and we loved how focused they were on the campers.  Truly the biggest blessing of camp was the maturity level that these ladies possessed and it made a huge impact on how smoothly the week went for everyone.  I can't thank them enough for the gift of service and love that these women bestowed upon Girls Camp.

2. Our staff rocked.  The programming that these women put together was top notch.  Outdoor class with Carrie and Colleen was so great-the kids did everything from looking at lake water under a microscope to limboing at a Beach Party. Lana and Delaney-what great helpers you were too!  Crafts were fantastic (wooden birdFEEDERS and a storymat) and blessings to Christy and Mindy for putting up with endless hammering and gluing-headache anyone! Recreation really brought the crowd to their feet, literally. The dance to "Freeedom Freeedom" made every girl smile and dance and scream-It was the highlight of my camp experience this year.  Each one of these teams (Outdoor, Craft and Recreation) brought the message of Freedom in Christ to life and it was a joy to work with them throughout the year in planning and then so much fun to sit back and see the fruits of their labor-A LOT of Labor (one lost GPS) and endless amounts of love -Thank You!

3. Being Lecia's co-Director, this is a true gift.  I am so honored to be her friend. I am in awe of her talents, patience, prayer, honesty, and faithfulness.

4. At Girls Camp I am surrounded by an web of people who support me and teach me and inspire me. My deepest thanks to: Deann, Sandra, Miriam, Jeanne, Bev, Joseph, Stephanie, Ken, Tamara, Lisa, and, Dennis (oh, I'm sooo sorry for bugging you about my "dead" computer!).

5. Sarah brought to life the Word and gave the girls a special word, "Ezer" to hold onto. Thank you Sarah for being a powerful, life-giving, affirming, loving helper to EVERYONE at Girls Camp. Christ has set us free to live a free life-and I'm so grateful He brought you into the lives of each living soul at camp.

6. Krissi your pictures were beautiful-thank you for sharing your God-given gift with us at camp.  The slide shows were great with the mix of stills and video, you truly captured camp on "film."  

7. Every night when all was quiet, I walked up to my little mini retreat- called Osprey and just delighted in the beauty of my room and of Twin Rocks.  Warm showers at midnight...heaven.

8. Seeing Brynn love Amber so much - Amber, thank you for making Brynn's last year at camp-as a girls camper-so meaningful and fun.  To see my daughter have such a wonderful role model is the best gift you can give a mother.  

9. On the last night of camp, one of the campers was homesick for her mom. To make this story as simple as possible, after talking with her she and I raced back across the athletic field so she could rejoin her cabin group in the tents-she was smiling and laughing. This kind of interaction with girls is probably the most rewarding thing about camp. To be able to speak truth and love into a girl's heart and see her respond by going from tears to giggles-this is the reason I know God wants me at camp.  This is the reason why I spend endless hours in preparation for camp-because in the end, it all comes down to sitting on the back of my van with a camper and reassuring her of HIS love.  Thank you Jesus.  Let Freedom Reign.

I have to say, I'm doing really well on my Fasting from Comfort.  I've been running EVERY morning, not a drop of coffee or alcoholic beverage has touched my lips.  And until last night at 7:11pm, when I without even thinking popped a strawberry into my mouth as we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, not a nibblet of food has passed these lips after the clock strikes seven.

But here's where it gets bad.  Tonight we were invited over to a High School Graduation party for a young man that I used to be a nanny for (I started watching him when he was only 18 months old).  The BBQ started at 6:30pm, and I knew that there was a good chance that food wouldn't be served until after my "pumpkin time."  So I snagged a half a tuna sandwich as we got in the car. I didn't want to s  t  a  r  v  e.  We arrived, and as I suspected, dinner wasn't yet being served.  

Later when they announced "we could eat" I had a choice to make-survive on the tuna smackeral I scarfed down an hour earlier or delight in a BBQ cheeseburger, grapes, and Jello salad.  I choose the latter- I thought God was feeling pretty understanding. I've been sooooo good.  It's just one dinner.  I won't have cake, I'm not imbibing in the Mike's Hard Lemonade.  Just one hot off the grill cheeseburger.

My first bite-bam, I splatter a huge dollop of ketchup and mustard onto my favorite capris.  I think I must have caught the wrong "vibe" from God.   

Starting tomorrow our church is entering into a corporate 6 week fast.  We are laying down our regular "duties" and ministries at church in order to Stop, Look, and Listen to God.  You might think that seems strange-to quit doing things "of God" in order to listen and obey Him.  And for many in our church body-it has been difficult. The idea of fast conjures up not eating, denying oneself and sacrifice.  These types of fasting can be good tools for spiritual discipline. But why as a corporate body are we volunarily giving up good things like Sunday School?  I think the simplest answer is this: for rest and renewal.  God wants us to fast from the routine, the hectic pace, the constant striving to "do" instead of just to "be."  

God is faithful and steadfast, but He also is a God of Change. This corporate fast is about change. The fast gives us the opportunity to stop our normal responsibilities in order to see and hear how God wants to change us as the body of Christ, a pause to refocus on the heart of God.   This Change is for many a fast from comfort.  We like our normal.  It's what we know.  

The other element to this fast is our personal response.  For me the change of laying things down within the coporate body is exciting and I'm not upset or "shaken-up" by how things will change in church for 6 weeks.  I'll miss teaching those adorable 1st graders-but a break will be nice.  I'm looking forward to a sanctuary full of kids-full of life.  And so I feel a need for the fast to "hit home" a bit more intensely if I am truly going to spend time "Stop, Look, and Listening" to what God wants from me.  

For these 6 weeks I'll be fasting from coffee, alcohol and the oh so difficult-no eating after 7pm. Denying myself these bits of "comfort" I pray will lead me to depend on God, to change in a healthy way and give me opportunities to see how much I don't need anything but God's love to fulfill me. God's also been working on me in another area-exercise.  This is something that I cringe about even writing here.  How I desperately want to ignore this area of my life.

Last week in church Pastor Gregg asked us to look at a park bench at the front of the sanctuary. It was there as a visual representation of the fast.  He wanted us to mentally put ourselves on the bench.  He then knelt down in front of the bench, elbows on the seat and prayed.  He said he hoped this would be another picture of what we'd be doing during the fast. I sat their teary eyed by this humbling sight, but my mind was also busy envisioning another picture of what the bench could mean to me during the fast.  I saw myself stretching my calves on the legs of the bench, warming up before a run.  A run that would happen every day for 6 weeks.  If I'm honest with myself and with God, I know that this is the kind of fasting He has in mind for me.  A true fast from comfort. A total dependance on His strength when I have none. Asking the Holy Spirit to guide me and provide me with energy. A denial of all excuses that each and every day I validate in order to keep away the pain and hard work of getting into shape.  

Will you pray with me that I will be faithful to listen to His guidance?  And will you let me know how I can pray for you?  It will give me something to focus on as I run.

So I started a journal back in April to write down a few words each night of what I was grateful for that day.  Each day I find myself reflecting on the things I'm grateful for, one of which-that God still loves me despite my lack of discipline for writing them down in the cute little journal.

Here's a few other things that should be in the cute little journal-but haven't been written down "officially"...yet.

Prayer-Thank you God for listening and directing.

The way my girls love Amalija, and the amazing way she interacts with them.

My extremely comfy bed. Oh the joy of Tempur-Pedic. (is that how you spell it?) 

Everyday I look forward to turning on Safari and seeing what my friends have written to entertain and teach me while I have breakfast or lunch.  It's rare that no one has a new post or at least few new comments to share.  I really appreciate that.  Then I think about what does duckfamily.net have to offer... sometimes nothing new for days-or gasp, weeks!  How boring.

So, I'm not making any promises-but I'll try to do better at putting something out here a little more often.  

Tonight Alan and I discussed the following: turning off our T.V. (as in shutting off Digital Cable)...but what about LOST. Selling helicopter parts on eBay, painting street addresses on curbs as a part time job, refinancing the house (again) and not paying for me to get my hair colored at the salon. Yeah, we talked about finances.  It stinks.  The more we have the more we spend.  We have never lived well below our means.  It's something we are bad at.  Somethings we do well.  This is not one of them.  We like stuff.  -See Alan's blog about stuff.  We like to eat out with family and friends, to spend money on vacations and birthday presents and all sorts of stuff that just seems to add up.  Arrrggg.  So tonight Alan said, "when can we just move to Kenya and get over all of this."   Hmmm, so we want to move to Kenya -where we could worry about being KILLED instead of wondering how we could reduce our monthly spending habits a little-I'm not sure that's the answer.  I know he meant that it would be better to worry about how we can further the Kingdom of God than just pondering whether or not we "need" HDTV.  And I agree.  So many people have a lot "deeper" thoughts than we seem to have sometimes.  I really admire their courage and character.  

I know that Alan and I want to live for Christ and for our children to be instilled with those morals and values.  What will it take?  I pray that all that we have will be used to the glory of God.  That we don't ever take for granted Alan's good job and the luxuries we have (a nice home, working vehicles, enough money for food, water, clothing, heat and A/C).  I pray that I can keep using these gifts for the Lord.   I pray that where I don't need to spend, I won't. I pray that I will honor God by being generous with all that I have and that when He calls us we will be quick to listen and obey.

It's been a beautiful week in God's Kingdom.  Our family got to experience the sheer joy of seeing the African Children's Choir again and connecting with Esther.  Yesterday I was in the presence of the Holy Spirit as I sat among the women at NFC in Women's Bible Fellowship.  I can't think of any more authentic beautiful worship experience than what goes on each Thursday morning we meet in the Social Hall of Newberg Friends Church.  And last night I actually prayed with 3 close friends as we sat out in the rain in my hot tub.  What I love about God is that He can be found anywhere and everywhere: in the dancing and singing of children, in the tears of believers and those struggling to believe, and in my own backyard at 11pm.  I can hardly wait to see where He shows up next.  Join me!